(Written spring of 2013)
It’s such a cliché. When did we become a cliché?
We never did conform to anyone else’s rules.
We always colored outside of the line…but now we’re THAT.
I told you…I never wanted to be that couple sitting across from each other at the restaurant,
Not talking. Not looking at each other.
We became THAT.
Loyal. Kind. Negative. Criticizing. Witty. Smart. Nitpick. Divide…and Conquer.
My mind races and I can’t sleep.
I never could. Thoughts come faster than I can get them down.
Being this way…It’s a curse. It’s a blessing.
I know people don’t get me. They can’t. You do.
I know I may and probably will die young.
I know I’m smarter than 90% of the world.
I know my father was too.
I got this from him.
He said, “I will never be happy.”
Well…I have trained, read and learned.
It’s simple. You decide how you will see things.
I know I can be happy.
I don’t think you can.
When you are already past the age of where you could be dead, every day is a gift.
What should I do?
I don’t want to live like this. But I can’t imagine life without you in it.
We are two good people who bring out the worst in each other.
You look at me, but you don’t see me. You see an illness. That’s all I am to you now.