I went to a the…

I went to a theta healer today. Long story. Figured I had nothing to lose except an hour and fifty bucks. Whatthefuckever, right?

So, right. Back to the healer. She was in a neat mobile home retirement community. When I think “mobile home” I usually envision white trash meth-heads, but this was quite a fetching place. Groomed, gated…and offering a showing of the movie “War Horse”. With optional popcorn being $1.

Her place was polished wood floors, sunny yellow walls and an open sun room facing the bay’s waters. I instantly felt at peace. The healer was much younger looking than she was, and she asked me not to tell her anything about myself. I didn’t, except my name. I sat across from her, barefoot. Open. She asked “The Creator” about me…

This is where it got fucking weird.

She said I carried a lot of sadness. Check. I was angry with my mom and needed to forgive her. Check. That I was injured on the right side of my body, especially at my hip. CHECK. That my mother smoked and I was sick in the womb. (I was born with a pneumonia and barely survived.) Check. That I don’t feel I’m worthy of love, so I sabotage my relationships. Check.

She also said I had angels looking out for me and I was more loved than I realized, but needed to ask them for help, since they can’t do it unless I ask. I cried then. I’ve had so many family members die recently…I wondered if that’s what she meant. She said I didn’t have a purpose yet because it hasn’t been revealed…but that I DO have one. And that it’s something that benefits others. She said she was ‘honored’ to meet me and that she was supposed to give me something. It ended up being a crystal in the color that I wear the most. She said in one sleep cycle, I’ll feel lighter and more hopeful. And that self help books don’t work, since they only get into our cellular level…we feel better for a day or three, but they don’t penetrate our historical, genetic or soul levels.

It was strange. I stayed open minded. The agnostic skeptic in me is screaming out to laugh, but it felt way too personal and real. Theta healing.

Huh.